Past and Present #7

In the last chapter of Dave Black (@CM9798) adventures, the wheels had quickly started falling off. Can he turn it around in this latest chapter, lets find out.

It’s just a blip. It’s just a blip. It’s just a blip.

We had a really good November and December. We looked like a decent team, we won some matches, players seemed to quite like me. Then Ki went off to the Asia Cup and we lost to Cardiff and Chelsea. That could happen to any team. Right?

The problem is, it’s Man City away next and we’re on the bones of our arse. Ritchie is injured, Yedlin is exhausted, Sessegnon is still carry a knock. Also, Man City are really good. We give a reasonable account of ourselves, all things considered, and a 2-0 loss is only set in stone when Gabriel Jesus scores on the counter attack in the 89th minute. It’s not awful but a loss is a loss.

The magic of the cup is all about preservation for me. Sure, I want to win, but I also don’t want DeAndre Yedlin’s lung to fall out. It’s a balancing act. Naturally, Diame gets injured after just 10 minutes and Shelvey has to play 80. Murphy scores shortly after and despite some hairy moments, we’re into round 4.

If the draw is kind to us, we could go quite far.

Oh. I really hope it’s Brighton.

The good news just keeps coming.

For goodness sake. It’s Brighton at home and with Ki, Diame and now Hayden unavailable, young Dan Barlaser is called in to play in the centre of the park.

We’re so lifeless. Blunt. Crap. Take your pick. We barely muster a shot on target and when Solly March scores on the stroke of half time, everybody in the ground knows it’s game over. This is a bad loss.

At least it’s January. It’s time to spend some of the pocket change I’ve been afforded. £12m is reasonable, in fairness, but it doesn’t get you an awful lot. When the instruction is to sign young players, it gets you nothing. So instead I’m paying a fee to loan a 33-year-old former West Brom midfielder.

At least I can live my dream of rivalling the bald midfielder of Gravesen and Carsley. Crystal Palace want to give me £11m for Ciaran Clark, who has been moaning for a while now. Also, it’s £11m. Off he goes.

I’m secretly delighted with my dealings and now…it’s Old Trafford.

This is a struggle from the outset. I’m noticing more and more the left winger of the opposition picks the ball up and drives at my full back who just can’t handle it. It’s like they are jet heeled. Sanchez scores the same goal twice and we lose 3-0. Not totally unexpected.

For crying out loud man. At least Lejeune is approaching full fitness.

Obviously, Man City won the replay and that’s where we are off next. This schedule is brutal. The January blues have never been more painful and sure enough we get hammered. We manage 2 shots on goal but even they feel like a token gesture.

We’re dishevelled  having been battered all month so far but it’s Huddersfield at home next. Ritchie is finally fully fit and with Valero and Shelvey in the middle of the park, what’s not to like? I’ll tell you what. Alex Pritchard. He opens the scoring with a free kick. Kenedy runs through three hopeless tackles and equalised. Pritchard scores again with another direct free kick. That’s getting really annoying now. We throw everything at it in the second half and eventually Ritchie levels it up. RELIEF!

Then Pritchard scores a third free kick four minutes later. What is life?

That blip is now a major concern. There is at least some more money in the bank after the Clark sale. The only thing to do is spend it on Denis Suarez.

He’s another option at number 10 which we haven’t really had, so we’ll see how it turns out. On deadline day, Chelsea bid for Shelvey. I jokingly say I’ll accept if they give me £20m. Shelvey begs to go. Frankly, he’s been terrible for me and my all bald dream is over. Ki will be back soon, but he is not follically challenged.

Are we better off? I don’t know, but bottom club Burnley are our visitors and we’ll not get a better chance to put the record straight. So, what happens? We fall behind after 6 minutes (to a free kick) and then spend 84 minutes being wasteful.

Please send help. Remember when we were 7th for a bit? We’ll be lucky not to be involved in a relegation scrap at this rate.

I’m somehow not under any pressure. We haven’t won in the league for over a month but I think the fans appreciate that I mean well. Join me next time for hopefully better news.

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